19 July 2012

Out with a Bang

Hi everyone. This is the end of the Phantasmagoria of Complaints. To explain why, in brief: I find that more and more I want to dedicate my time to pursuits that take me away from my desk chair during the months and moments when I'm not literally chained to it by school work. And so... my time as a mediocre, snarky, internet-based critic of the cinematic arts comes (perhaps mercifully?) to a close.

As a celebratory/conciliatory gesture, I will leave you with some reviews of movies I have seen since last posting ages and ages ago.

Here goes:

Magic Mike: WooWOOO!!!!! Weinerz lollllzzz ^_-

Brave: Meh. Disappointing for various reasons.

The Avengers: Meh... because I didn't care about any of the characters. Bonus points though for having a very reverent fan in the audience-- his drawn out yet quiet comment "goddamnit" when that one guy took a bullet for the team and died made the whole experience worth it.

Sherlock Homes 2: Actually really entertaining to me. I hear it was exactly the same as the first one, of which I didn't have anything resembling a high opinion. Perhaps I was just too distracted during the first one, the experience of which was ruined by a group of truly out of control teenagers who heckled a woman in the theater so much that she had to leave.

Underworld Awakening: Also surprisingly enjoyable. I like Kate Beckinsale, ever since /Cold Comfort Farm/ way back when. And, obviously, vampires and werewolves!

The Hangover 2: Literally exactly the same as Hangover 1. Although... I do have to admit that the photo series at the end of both movies made me want to write a (probably pitifully theoretically underdeveloped) essay on the role of tableaux (and phantasmagoria?) in the movie (and maybe others like it... though I couldn't name any off the top of my head). I can already hear the grad school adviser's voice in my head asking, deadpan, "So, where are you going with this idea?" I don't know. That's why I chose blogging (and now teaching) instead of academ-ing.

Moonrise Kingdom: Thank you, Wes Anderson, for finally making a movie that nears The Royal Tenenbaums in goodness (if not greatness). Bonus points for the excellent timing in the ear piercing scene.

Hugo: Uhhmmm... I failed to find anything redeeming in this silly, boring story. Am I the only one who though this was a total snooze? I thought I would love it due to its connection to early film history. I was wrong.

And with that, the Phantasmagoria fades to black. I have enjoyed writing reviews for the past however long it's been, but it's time for me to move on now. I will be leaving the blog up, however, because there are just too many people who visit to find the time stamp of the shitting scene in Severed Ways. I can't let them down. For that special group of people, this blog is practically a public service.

On a more sincere note. You can always call or email me if you want to hear me complain some more about movies or any other topic. I'll always have opinions and usually some zesty one-liners, just not the time to write that way I would like.

Thank you for reading.

 -Cait

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